Does your marriage build you up or tear you down?

Does he cut you off from your family and friends?

Does he blame you for his anger or his problems?

Has he convinced you that you are worthless, that no one else would want you?

That’s not love.

That’s emotional abuse.

He doesn’t have to hit you to abuse you.

There’s no reason to put up with this.

You are not alone.

There are many women going through this too, suffering in silence, needlessly. Fearful of consequences should should they ever speak up.

I know. I am one of them.

There’s help.

If the children are involved, school counsellors can help.

Family counsellors too can offer you support, or protect you and your kids should he turn violent physically.

Don’t wait it to escalate to the point of physical violence.  Do see a family counsellor to discuss what you can do about it.

If he has already hit you, seek help immediately, for your own safety and the safety of your children.

You can turn to
pave center at blk 211 Ang mo Kio ave 3 #01-1446 for help in Singapore or respective family counseling centers in your country to help you out of this.

dark skies symbolising love gone wrong

I’m delighted that a friend finally got married.

The sentiments shared among those of us who know him is that it is about time.

He and his wife complement each other well.

wedding cake.

The wedding was a joyous event.

It is but the start of a journey of two people who have pledged their lives to each other in marriage.

It is a leap of faith.

That’s what love is all about.

Trusting enough to take that leap together.

Just attended a friend’s wedding.

She’s a very strong woman with a vibrant personality.
It was a traditional wedding held in an Anglican church. I was wondering how she would take that part in the scriptures that says that wives are to submit to their husbands.

Does submission equate to subservience?

Wedding Well Wishes. Friends and family write their well wishes for the weddiing couple on paper leaves.

As I entered the church, the receptionists guided me to a basket of paper leaves in the colours of fall. Each of us wrote a message for the wedding couple. Wishing them a wonderful marriage ahead with lots of babies on the way.

2 passages were chosen for the wedding.

• Ephesians 5:1-2, 21-33
• 1 Corinthians 13:1-7,13

I winced at the reading of the first, especially the part that goes : Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

Isn’t that a recipe for abuse.

That verse is so often quoted by bullying men who insist that their wives obey their every whim and fancy. So upon marriage, the men gain a maid and someone who does his bidding.. who has to give whatever he asks for to her “master”.  My heart bled for her.

But that is not the way it was meant to be. Taken in its entirety, the men is to lead the wife, lead the family, the way Christ led, cared for and cleansed the church. Leadership in the Christian sense is about serving those you lead.

The husband makes all decisions in best interest of the wife. He feeds and cares for her, loves her.  For a woman to find such a man.. she’s got to be the luckiest woman alive. How many men actually fulfill that responsibility?

The wife in turn respects her husband.

It is all about respecting each other. Making decisions to the best interest of the other.
That is love.

Marriage is all about love.

But The Greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13 talks about what love really entails.

It isn’t all about fuzzy feelings from brain chemicals — you know the feeling of being in love.

Love is about patience. Kindness. Trust. That one passage sums it all.

That’s the blueprint of a great marriage.

The bride was as witty as ever. Her sparkling personality that we all love shone through.

She is embarking on a new journey that requires tremendous courage and trust. She’s a smart girl with a strong personality. She doesn’t dive into things without knowing what she’s getting herself into.

I believe she chose well and will have a wonderful, God-centered marriage.

How many girls grew up on fairy tales.. dreaming of marrying a prince?

Kate Middleton did just that. The student prince she met, her prince charming, Prince William of Wales, tied the knot with her in the much awaited royal wedding.

Set aside 29 April 2011 to witness a beautiful royal wedding. Prince William is marrying Kate Middleton in what is set to be the wedding of the century.

Prince William carried his beloved late mother’s engagement ring everywhere with him, positively nervous about losing that precious heirloom, worried sick about all the nasty things that could go wrong in his wedding proposal.

He eventually proposed to his sweetheart Kate Middleton, who accepted, and now is wearing Princess Diana’s engagement ring as her own.. preparing to be a part of the Royal family.

Their love story reminds me of the movie, The Student Prince, for it was in the University of St Andrews where Prince William and Kate Middleton first met. They were friends at first, with common interests. That friendship blossomed into a beautiful romance. The student prince met his Kate.

The path of love isn’t so smooth. In 2007, Prince William and Kate Middleton were rumoured to have split. The gossip says that during their holiday in the Swiss resort of Zermatt they decided to split up. Prince William did verify that split in this interview, but they were young then.. guess that split was necessary for them to return to each other, older and more matured, knowing better what each wanted. They stayed friends.

Their romance rekindled and now..stronger and more matured, they are getting married.

I wish them both a very happy and lasting marriage. God bless you both!

Valentine’s day. Love is in the air.

Teenagers holding hands. Puppy love. Sweet.

Maybe it will last. Maybe they’d outgrow each other as time passes by.

An elderly couple with snow white hair, walking hand in hand along the street. Enjoying each other’s company in silence. Having spent a lifetime together, there isn’t much left to talk about. Just spending their remaining time together is enough.

That’s love. That’s how I want my marriage to grow into.

My parents are like that. Their advice to me is that marriage is about compromise. It takes to hands to clap. When one is angry, the other patiently keeps cool, each yielding to the other in turn. Keeping the peace. Building a marriage that lasts.

The other day, I went to a hawker center, to a stall mended by an elderly couple. They looked content as they busied themselves cooking and serving customers without breathing a word to each other. As if each knew what the other thought.  They worked in tandem, harmoniously in that tiny space. So used to each other. At peace.

The food was the tastiest I’ve had in a public space.. for it was cooked.. with love.

A friend once told me that men can be likened to champagne or orange juice.

The bad boys are like champagne. You know that type. You feel high when u drink champagne, but you get a nasty hangover the next day.

Bad boys are exciting. They are intoxicating to be with. Potentially addictive. But boy, do they leave a nasty after taste.

The nice guys are like orange juice. Orange juice is nice when you taste it. Good for you. Pleasant. But you don’t get high with good old orange juice. The soul mate. Best friend. The guy who is best for you. Whom smart girls would choose. Orange juice.

Which is yours?

Who did you fall in love with?

Which are you drawn to?

Champagne or orange juice.

Do share your experiences.

Zsa Zsa Gabor was a legendary beauty. She was born in 1917. So many decades later, at the age of 93, her physical beauty may have faded yet to her husband, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, she is still the apple of his eye.

The elderly couple, still in love, still caring for each other.

On August 16, 2010, Zsa Zsa Gabor fell unconscious. A priest was called to read her last rites just before she blacked out. She is still bed ridden, and was cared for by her loving husband.. to the point that he too collapsed from exhaustion.

Love. Caring for your loved one selflessly.. often at the expense of one’s own welfare.

Romance. Not exclusive to young couples, in the bloom of health.

The love between Zsa Zsa Gabor and Prince Frederic von Anhal.. a lasting love that defies age.. stands the test of time.

Now that is true romance.

Real love.

That’s what marriage is really about.

I hate to bring bad news to the Orlando single female fans out there but Orlando just married his fiancee of 1 month, Miranda in a private and intimate ceremony.

Word got out when the stunning beauty, the secret bride was conspicuously missing.

They’d gotten married and were off on their honeymoon.

Let’s be magnanimous and with the Blooms a wonderful marriage ahead.

10 years on marriage and still going strong. In Hollywood, that is a rarity.

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary against all odds.

No one expected their marriage to last.

He’s 25 years older than her. Now 65 years old compared to her 40. Yet it turned out to be stronger than so many marriages deemed by people to be more… likely to survive?

In spite of everything, they are still together. With Michael still talking about how Catherine bowled him over.

Marriage takes. hard work. Commitment to make it work.

Every year, he’d take her back to her home country where they’d spend to weeks with their family.

Commitment. Love. Dedication. That’s a great recipe for a lasting marriage.